31 Easy Steps To Test Your New Bathtub For Leaks and Bathe Your Children at the Same Time

1. Adjust overflow/drain contraption to fit tub.
2. Attach above-mentioned thing-a-ma-jig to tub. (Keep in mind that the drain for the tub is only about six inches long, is not attached to anything and ends mid-air in the basement.)
   
3. Construct tub-filling gizmo from pvc pipe, tape, kitchen faucet and kitchenaid. (pic at left and below)
   
4. Fill tub with water to check for leaks. (Probably should have done this before we poured cement...)
   
5. After only a half-gallon, notice leak at drain/tub junction.
6. Jerry-rig temporary solution to drain tub using a corner pipe, a bucket and Tricia's biceps.

7. Drain water into bucket, fix leaky junction.
8. Clean up water mess.
   
9. Begin filling tub again, so far so good.
10. Wonder if water really needs to be above whirlpool jets before testing.
11. Test jets prematurely, confirm that yes, water must be above jets.
12. Clean up water mess.
13. Get kids in tub for "test run."
14. Kids happy, love the whirlpool. Comment "This is big enough to swim in!"
15. Realize that Water Level High Enough to Cover Jets + 4 Kids in Tub + Overflow Drain Pipe Not Attached to Anything and Ending in Mid-Air = Big Water Mess in Basement.
16. Tell kids to be perfectly still. (I know. Try not to laugh too hard.)
    
17. Dug opens drain, Tricia holds bucket under pipe in basement until full. Dug closes drain, Tricia dumps bucket into toilet. The plan is to drain the water low enough so that we can finish bathing the kids without the water sloshing into the overflow. (This level is actually hypothetical and doesn't exist, by the way.)

18. Inform children that if they really want to finish their bath they better not move another muscle.
19. Continue draining by bucket.
20. Threaten kids with bodily harm if they move a muscle again. (No, I still don't know why we didn't have them get out.)
    
21. Discover that if Dug opens the drain fully, the makeshift pipe system can't handle all the water and it overflows onto Tricia.
22. Dug finds that he "just can't help himself."
23. Tricia threatens Dug with bodily harm if he does it again.
24. Tub now drained low enough to finish bathing children if they "don't act crazy."

25. Discover that kids are incapable of non-crazy action in a body of water.
26. Clean up water mess.
    
27. Water sits in tub for a day and a half because Tricia can't/won't finish draining the tub via the bucket method.
28. Dug and Chris set up a temporary (read: unglued, shoved-together pipes) drain system.
29. Dug and Chris find that their system is insufficient for dealing with the massive amount of water that drains from a tub at once.
30. Clean up water mess.
31. Tub sufficiently tested, found without leak and in perfect-working order. Basement floors very clean.

Here's a "bonus" image for you. Sorry if you find it offensive. I just couldn't help myself. (Chris, what's the point of taking pictures, if you don't share them?)